Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Orphanage

Today was a very emotional day for all of us. We learned yesterday that we would be able to visit orphanage where the girls lived. They were all very excited about it. We talked about it a lot last night and today. We talked to them about wearing dressing and how important it is to let mommy fix their hair for this event. (The day we met the girls, the directors of the orphanage told us that it was important for the girls to visit with their new parents. What an honor to be invited.)

I (Chris) was very nervous about it. I wondered what the people there would think of us and if they would think we are good parents. The girls and Paul didn’t seem nervous at all. The whole day was leading up to this and the girls were VERY excited that they would be able to see their friends and tell them goodbye for the last time.

We picked up a cake to share with all the girls there. Rosario came with us and Jose drove and walked around a little with us.

At first I was really excited to meet all of the people who mothered and cared for our children for the last year. But shortly after we got there, Manuela really broke down crying. The head nun said that it was good because she was breaking ties. I thought that she was scared and nervous. (Before we went in, Manu asked Rosario to hold her hand.) This made me want to cry because it brought many emotions to the surface of my heart. It made me sorry that she was scared and happy too because maybe she was wanting to stay with us. Manu found comfort in one of the ladies there which made me thankful for all they have done for our children.

In the next couple of minutes Angee began crying too. She was scared and confused.

When we arrived at the orphanage, we only saw a couple of girls. The rest of the girls were in school.

We toured the building which was very, very clean – nothing seemed to be out of place at all. The building is quite large – about 4 stories. It had bedrooms for all the girls, divided by age, three beds to a room. All of the beds were neatly made and again, nothing was out of place (our room at the B&B is a totally different story).

Vanesa took us to her old room and showed us which bed which had been hers, then Manuela, then Angee. All of the bedrooms were a decent size with 3 beds – no bunkbeds. Then they took us to a room with 3 cribs and they asked Angee which one used to be hers when she was a baby – she went right to it.

They took us to the place where they have P.E. (don’t know what they call it in Spanish, but this is where they danced and exercised and played outside). The lady in charge of these activities put on some music and Vanesa and Manu danced and jumped around with the 2 girls that were there. Angee broke down crying and the head nun beat me to her. I sat next to her and patted her a little, then the nun gave her to me. This was important to me. I wanted to be the one to comfort her and let her know that everything was okay. The nun handed her to me so that I could do my job. This is one of the first times I felt like their mother. I didn’t want anyone else to try to comfort my child. I imagine it may have been hard for the nun to hand her over since she was the one who had cared for, fed, bathed and comforted our children in the past. Angee did settle down, especially after they offered her a snack. (We too have found that waving food in front of her is a very effective tool – she loves to eat.)

After some exercise, they took us upstairs to the room where the girls study. On this level there is also a chapel. They said that every day the girls go there to pray for their parents to come. Today, however, the head nun took them in there to lead them in a prayer of thanksgiving for their new family. I think this is very good for the girls to see that God does answer prayers. I’m forever thankful that she took the opportunity to show the girls how God is working in their life.

When the tour was over, the nun walked us to the school that Angee and Manuela attended. It was very cute. When we got to Angee’s old classroom, her 2 best friends were there. They were so happy to see her. They gave her big hugs and kisses. They have been friends since the day Angee arrived. They chattered for a little bit and we learned that one of them was in the same orphanage and her parents are coming next month to take her home to Holland. Then it was time to meet Manu’s teacher. We did not get see her classroom, but we got to meet her instructor who was very happy to see Manu again. I think school must have been over for this age because we did not get to meet any of Manu’s friends and there were not very many children there. We also met the director of the school. He appeared very clean-cut and professional, and personable and happy – good for little children.

We then walked to Vanesa’s school. I think it was probably for grades 1 – 6. We met her teacher, who was happy see her. She was eager to tell us that Vanesa is a very good student and that she is kind and thoughtful. Shortly after arriving in her classroom, a little girl came up to Vanesa with open arms and said, “Vani!” She gave Vanesa a long hug and couple of kisses. She was so happy to see her. We met a few other girls that are friends with Vanesa as well – they all live in the orphanage. (Not all children in these schools live in the orphanage, but it appears that their best friends are the ones that they lived with.) Two of the girls, sisters, have parents in Italy – they were not sure when they would be coming to get them. We stayed at Vanesa’s school for about 30 minutes. We met the director of this school as well. On the way out, the nun gathered all of her children and we all walked back to the orphanage together. It was sweet to hold hands with other little girls.

We passed by Angee and Manu’s old school again and invited their friends to come for cake. In all, we had about 20 little tiny cake eaters (and 20 little tiny pieces of cake).

It has been a great blessing and pleasure to visit these places. There is no way to thank someone enough for all they have invested in our children and seeing to it that they are loved and nurtured. What a blessing to see how our daughters’ friends and roommates and caregivers.

All of this also makes me sad for the girls. They have to leave ALL of their “family” and friends. We could tell that the girls had very good friends. They are coming to a completely different society and family structure and they have to start all over. They have to make new friends, probably with people who do not have the same type of things in common. I could tell that the girls and their friends were emotionally bonded – not just playmates. One of Vani’s friends said this was hard because Vani was leaving before her. I wish we could bring them all home – I wouldn’t turn any of them away.

All of the girls that we met need parents. They are all adorable. I think that sometimes people fear adoption because they think the children are more prone to be unattractive or that a majority of them are bad kids or that they have problems that are too difficult to overcome. The problems are with the birth families, not the children. I did not know which children lived with the girls until someone told me. Something that I thought was interesting was that one of Vani’s friends is THE best student in the school. Who would have thought? I wouldn’t have even thought it possible (of course judging by looks, not the fact that she does not have parents, I would have chosen her).

It seems like I have heard of a lot of people who are looking into adoption. To you I would say that all of these girls seemed to have a happy disposition. Some had chubby cheeks, some had freckles, some were white, some were brown, they have pretty hair, they love the affection they get from the few people who work at the orphanage. They want families, they need a mommy and a daddy. They are not too old – you are not too old.

We have chosen not to post pictures of our day because we feel it is important for the girls to have a clean slate. The pictures taken today will be personal memories for them.

Hopefully tomorrow will be our sentencia. We will let you all know tomorrow.
Good Night!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Paul and Chris,
what an emotional yet wonderful day. Even I just reading the little you wrote, wanted to laugh and wanted to cry and love all of those children. I could almost picture every little face.
I am so glad you were able to experience that visit with them. I am looking forward to your coming home. Many Blessings and prayers for you all.
Love you ,Mom

Jeff S. said...

That is very important for you both to see where and who they spent a lot of time with before you came into their lives. It must seem a little awkward still to be on their "turf", but once you are home, you will certainly have many more moments that you feel more and more like their mother. Soon, probably sooner rather than later, you won't even remember what it was like to not be their mother/father because your lives have become all about them. It's so easy to understand what a wonderful gift it is to be allowed to adopt a child when you have been through it. I'm so happy for you both and think of you every day. Hopefully we get to see you all soon.

Jeff

dbomoni said...

Ah, you are making me cry! What a beautiful description of it all Chris! I feel like I am there with you, but overwhelmed by your experience! I just can't even imagine what went through the girls minds and yours! It sure makes me want to adopt again! What a blessing of a day. I feel very emotional for you. You have gorgeous children who I can tell are very loving and intelligent and the only thing missing was you and Paul...now you are all complete! Thanks for sharing this experience with us!